I am a Christian. I love the Cleveland Browns. I don’t ask for much. I don’t pray for money. I am not a believer in prosperity gospel…..but every once in a while I do ask God for a Browns win. Well…no. I ask God for the Browns to look respectable. I don’t want to put too much pressure on the Almighty by asking for a Browns victory.
You don’t need to tell me how unimportant professional football is in the grand scheme of life. It’s irrelevant especially during a pandemic and the other unprecedented issues facing our world today . But that’s why I feel like it isn’t a big ask. The Browns are one of the few things in my life that strongly bonds me and my Dad. Some of the best memories in my life involve my father and the Browns. I wish, no, I pray that he gets to see the Browns be good again and I want to be there with him. God can do all things! He is the most mighty and I pray HARD! I pray harder than Myles Garrett hits Quarterbacks with his helmet. I go to church Sunday morning and really try to be good! I kiss my baby and hug my wife. I even put the toilet seat down!
Surely, a tight spiral by Baker Mayfield can’t be beyond the reach of our Lord and Savior. Some of Baker’s passes really have me seeing Jesus though. Maybe I am not a good enough person to get God to care about the Browns success, but I know some really good people who love the Browns. I have friends who are Doctors that like the Browns. They save lives! One my neighbors rescues dogs and she is a Browns fan. You love to see it God! I know you do. I sit alone after the games on Sunday just lamenting my ignorance in having hope. Maybe I need to tithe more…. I just wish I could have a sign…how much does it cost for an 8–8 season? Are Patriots fans the chosen ones? Jarvis Landry is a man of God, he says, “Bless ‘em” a lot. A LOT. I think he means it. That’s got to be worth something.
I am going to go sprinkle some holy water on my Derek Anderson jersey. We have’t had a winning season since DA left. I try to keep his jersey sprinkled with the good stuff. I even put my Nick Chubb Rookie card in my Bible as a bookmark. He only fumbled a few times today…so I guess it worked. I have limitless faith in God and I know that everything will work out. It would also be really cool if the Browns won the Super Bowl BEFORE the resurrection. Thank God for the Browns. Amen.